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  That’s ridiculous… I thought, but feeling Flora wriggle closer to me, now more content than I had seen her in a long time, I felt my stomach drop.

  For the first time, I heard my father’s voice in my head and I was actually, unfortunately, inclined to believe that maybe he had a point.

  Maybe I shouldn’t trust her implicitly. I thought, as my paranoia started to wreak havoc in my mind to a degree that I was completely uncomfortable with.

  No, you’re being ridiculous. I thought, trying to calm my frantic nerves. Why would she come home and try something new if she was getting her true desserts somewhere else? Don’t people who are cheating want less sex? Not more.

  However, with this thought, my mind immediately returned to the start of this whole fiasco, when she had acted so weird about us having sex, and then came home far too late for us to do anything together.

  Maybe she is seeing someone else? I thought, though I didn’t want to believe it.

  My mind told me to wake her up and try to settle this once and for all, but I knew whether I was right or wrong, that was a conversation that was going to have some serious consequences; which, either way, I wasn’t the least bit prepared for.

  Yet, after failing to shut my mind off for an hour, while Flora slept, curled up next to me soundly, I decided to untangle myself from her and retire to the living room.

  When I reached the couch, I looked at the clock, debating whether it was too late to crash with Gavin. However, that was an idea that was short-lived. I had no interest in staying with Gavin. His mobile home was only a step up from a cardboard box and the man did absolutely nothing to make it comfortable.

  I truly believed it was because he would rather hang out on someone else’s couch then have to entertain. I knew that he would let me stay with him in a second if I asked, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask.

  Besides, Gavin’s nasty living quarters aside, if I left the house, that might be taken as a step of no return. Sleeping at the office was one thing, but purposefully going to a friend’s house, when Flora doesn’t even know why, probably would look exceptionally bad for me, regardless of how this all works out.

  I checked my anger level and realized that while I was angry at what could be, I had no proof, and therefore, I was far more afraid of being right than I was presently angry about anything. I knew that if I stayed, it wouldn’t end badly. I would eventually fall asleep on the couch and hopefully, I would wake up again before Flora, so that I could avoid having to make up some excuse as to why I wasn’t in the bed.

  Plus, Gavin knows enough about my marital problems, I finally decided, concluding that for now, I would keep my suspicions in the home, so that I could limit the ways which I could come out of all this looking like an asshole.

  After all, if I’m wrong, I certainly didn’t want to give anyone a reason to believe that Flora was doing anything wrong.

  While I was certain that Gavin would think I was a moron and not believe a word of my suspicions anyway, I knew, from a life with my parents that juicy details generally stuck around far longer than the truth and I didn’t want that kind of gossip to start about my wife; regardless of what she did, was doing, or planned to do.

  Chapter 21: Flora

  The next morning, for the first time in a long time, I awoke feeling rejuvenated and truly refreshed. I drew in a deep breath, yanked, stretched and turned over, but when I slid my hand to over to Collin’s side of the bed, I was surprised to find he wasn’t there.

  I opened my eyes and sat up.

  “Collin?” I called, looking toward the bathroom. He didn’t answer me, so I got up and went to find him.

  When I saw him sleeping on the couch, I was confused. Considering we had such a wonderful night, it didn’t make sense that Collin was sleeping on the couch.

  I thought, long and hard about everything that had transpired the night before, but I couldn’t come up with anything that would’ve urged him to leave the bed.

  Did I have more fun than he did? I thought. Yet, I specifically remember that I had made him moan and groan in ways I hadn’t heard him enjoy sex in years. There was no doubt in my mind that he enjoyed it and the last thing I remember afterward, was falling asleep on his arm.

  So, after watching him sleep for a little while, I decided that he must have simply had trouble sleeping. That wasn’t exactly a terribly odd occurrence. It happened sometimes and when things were good between us, I had never assumed that it had anything to do with me. He was under a lot of stress and sometimes, it was nice to have a change of pace in your sleeping routine.

  I did the same thing occasionally and it had nothing to do with Collin.

  So, why would you assume it was your fault? I thought, concluding that’s crazy. You’re probably just stressed yourself. I told myself, focusing back on the amazing love we had made the night before.

  I grinned and decided that Collin being angry before they made love probably didn’t help his sleeping, but again, he didn’t seem to be complaining while we were together.

  As the events of the previous night played through my mind, my womanliness startled to react to the thought of him, so close to me, so easily accessible, so approachable.

  I know how I’ll settle this once and for all! I thought as I grinned and inched closer to him. I’ll show him how eager I am to have him again.

  The idea that this would be a complete surprise for him, since we hadn’t had morning sex in a long time, impassioned me further. My body quivered with the idea of him being inside of me, as I started to pull his pants down.

  When I exposed him to myself, the feel of my touch started to stir him. Collin groaned and moved for a moment but is still consumed in sleep, he eventually settled back down.

  I tried not to make any noise as I repositioned myself and leaned down, grasping his manhood, first in my hand, then inserting it into my mouth.

  Easily, carefully, my lips consumed him, stroking up and down, moistening his member as it naturally erected from the attention.

  Over my head, I heard him groan as his body started to thrash, with pleasure.

  “Oh my God…” He grumbled, as his hand tried to grasp at himself, but I pushed it away.

  I interlocked my fingers with his, pressing my weight on his hands as I continued my rhythmed movements.

  By now, he was completely erect, and his breath was hard, panting, though he still hadn’t come around to complete consciousness.

  “Flora…” He moaned, as I deepened the penetration. “Oh…Flora….”

  I tried not to smile with pride, listening to the way he spoke my name. Somehow, knowing that he was still consumed with sleep, for the most part, made me feel even better about him calling my name. It was almost reinforcing that I was the one he wanted, though I never had that doubt, it was still nice to know that he was uttering my name specifically.

  However, as I was sure he was almost ready to explode, I felt him roughly yank himself back and when he spoke this time, his voice was angry.

  “Flora!” Collin exclaimed, and I looked up at him, startled. He glared at me, as he thrust his pants back up over his waistline and demanded, “What the hell are you doing?”

  At this, my heart started to pound with worry and I felt tears well up in my eyes. Thinking I was trying to do something nice, something different, it hurt that he reacted as though I was a leper.

  However, instead of showing him the pain he caused, I grew angry.

  “It’s pretty damn obvious what I was doing!” I exclaimed, “I was trying to give him a good morning.”

  Still, he continued to scoff, as though he had found some random person sucking his dick, and that hurt even worse.

  “What the hell is the big deal? Why are you looking at me like that?” I demanded, “I mean, I am your wife, after all.”

  “Yeah, but you’ve been acting weird lately,” Collin finally responded, though his answer didn’t shed any light on why he was so upset. “I just don’t understand why.”<
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  “What do you mean? You wanted more sex, so I’m giving you more sex. I don’t see why this is such a damn problem for you!”

  “No…It’s not that…You’re freaking me the hell out,” he answered as he stood up.

  “Wait, where are you going?” I demanded.

  “I’m going to get dressed. I have work,” he hissed as he left the room.

  I opened my mouth to speak, trying to come up with something to shout back at him, possibly something that would make him come back, but nothing came out. I was completely in shock, with no words.

  I kneeled on the couch, staring after him for a long time. I felt completely bemused and bewildered, as I tried to figure out what it was I had done that was so wrong.

  Chapter 22: Collin

  “Wait a minute…Your wife goes down on you and you yell at her for it? Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Gavin said, when I told him what had gone on this morning.

  “Shhh,” I hissed, motioning for him to keep his voice down, considering we were in a bar.

  “No, I’m not going to shut up, because you should lose your damn man card for that shit! I will ask you again, you dumb fuck, what the hell is wrong with you?”

  “You don’t understand, it’s not normal,” I replied, becoming aggravated by his immense confusion.

  “You’re damn straight, it’s not normal. You’ve been together for ten years and you still get blown. You struck gold, my friend and you seem to be too damn dumb to notice.”

  “No, I mean, it’s not normal for her,” I replied, wishing he would let me get a word in, to try and explain the situation, but he apparently was having too much fun.

  “Well, you guys were having a little bit of issues, it seemed like…Maybe she’s trying to help you relieve some stress. I’d take it while you can get it…But you might have already screwed that up.”

  “No, Gavin! I’m upset because…” I lowered my voice and leaned in, not wanting to have anyone else hear, “I think she’s cheating on me.”

  Gavin burst out laughing, just as I thought he would and I rolled my eyes, now extremely frustrated.

  “Dude! Stop it! I’m serious.”

  “I get that you’re serious, Collin, and honestly buddy, if I didn’t think you were a lunatic for thinking that, I’d be right there with ya, but…Can I let you in on a little secret? Normally, women who are cheating want less sex.”

  “I know that, but who knows? Maybe she’s guilty?”

  “If she was guilty, or if she was cheating on you, dude, she’d leave your ass. She doesn’t have any reason to stay with you. She makes the money. She’d do fine without you.”

  “Thanks for the pep-talk,” I muttered sarcastically.

  “Well, I’m trying to get it through your head that the only reason she’s with you, is because she loves you. There’s not monetary, or other enticing reason for her to stay with you. You’re being an idiot and I think you should get to the bottom of what’s really going on, before she realizes that most men would love to wake up to head.”

  “Shut up!” I grumbled, “You’re not helping! I’m seriously concerned about this!”

  “Well, have you asked her?”

  “No! I don’t have any proof,” I retorted.

  “So, you just don’t trust her?”

  “Well, it’s just, the late nights, the weird behavior, and the fact that a few days ago, she didn’t even want to have sex with me two nights in a row…”

  “Maybe she was feeling the need to change it up too?” He suggested.

  “But, why? I do what works.”

  Again, Gavin barked a condescending laugh, “You know, a joke is only funny once, maybe twice. Everything, including a sure thing gets boring eventually. I think you should just talk to her.”

  “What should I say? You tried to blow me this morning and you’re taking the reins during sex and it bugs me, are you cheating on me?”

  “If you’re looking for an honest answer, I think you know that you probably shouldn’t say that…” Gavin answered, “But maybe, you should approach it without yelling, or walking away from her?” He chuckled again, as he reacted to a thought, before he sneered, “Hey, maybe the reason she’s banging you is because she just recently broke up with the man she was apparently cheating on you with, and that is why you’re getting more than sloppy seconds.”

  I felt my face grow red with this comment. I knew this conversation wasn’t going to be easy, but I thought that once Gavin knew I was trying to tell him about real concerns, he’d stop being a dick for ten minutes and listen to me. Apparently, though, that was too much to ask. As much as I had tried to be patient, and tried to be a good sport, I was done now. There was no way this was going to be a positive conversation.

  I was certain that if he said anything else like that, I would end up punching him in the face. I didn’t want that, so instead, I pushed my chair out and stood up.

  “Okay, forget it. I’m done,” I insisted, seeing red.

  “What?” Gavin demanded, now looking as though he was genuinely confused by my reaction, “Collin, I’m sorry. Maybe I took it too far.”

  However, at this point, I was too upset to care about his apology.

  “Save it,” I hissed, “I don’t care.”

  I threw a twenty on the table and turned around.

  “I was just trying to prove how stupid you sound! Wait!” He insisted, “Collin?”

  By this point, though, I was already halfway through the door, making a b-line for my car.

  As soon as I made it inside the car, I got out my phone and texted Flora.

  ‘Flora, I’m coming home now, and we really, really need to talk. Please…

  It didn’t take long for the phone to start ringing. Instead of asking, she had simply called him back. This, too is weird behavior.

  Not wanting to get into it over the phone, at first, I contemplated whether I should answer it.

  Yet, almost immediately, I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that she was at least reaching out and I knew I didn’t have a choice.

  “Hi, Flora?” I answered, realizing that I wasn’t extremely welcoming, but she seemed relieved that I answered, so I guessed it didn’t matter much.

  “I agree. This…whatever this is, has gone on long enough and we need to squash right now.”

  “I know. I’ll be home in a few minutes. Will you be there when I get there?”

  “Yes, I’m home now,” she replied and hung up the phone without saying another word.

  Chapter 23: Flora

  All day, I was so upset, I couldn’t even function. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t act right, and I couldn’t even speak right. I was a mess and immediately, people I worked with started to notice.

  Thankfully, I had garnered too much respect throughout the years to receive the regular, domineering, trouble in paradise question, but the fact that they were asking if I was okay, was almost worse. At least if they were joking about it, they didn’t think anything was wrong.

  Yet, my disheveled appearance seemingly took my co-workers by surprise. Today, my work personality seemed to have abandoned me. I couldn’t focus and all I kept thinking about was what had happened this morning with Collin.

  The way he looked at me. It made me feel so ashamed. I couldn’t get the image out of my head.

  I usually wasn’t a desperate woman and when I had started the mission this morning, I hadn’t thought that doing something like that to my husband would be anything more than slightly kinky, but his reaction had made me feel slutty and starving for attention.

  I didn’t like feeling so helpless and alone. I had worked extremely hard to build up the self-esteem that I had, and it bothered me that anyone, even Collin could strip it away with a simple look.

  Growing up, there was a time where I thought I was doomed to be alone forever, because my parents made it sound like the only available good men were the bachelors of my home town. I didn’t want them, because I knew what they would as
k of me and I wasn’t about to give up what I wanted, for something that they didn’t know any better, than to want for themselves, and their families.

  When I went to college, I had a new perspective on life, but I still wasn’t going to convinced I’d end up alone. Yet, when I met Collin, and everything changed.

  However, today, after the two of us had such a strange reaction, I couldn’t help but feel the same way all over again.

  It was over a decade since I had that sensation, that fear that there was no one who would truly love me, and while I didn’t want to believe that Collin’s love had faded, the look in his eyes was that of a deer in headlights. He was scared and had no idea how to deal with the situation that he was faced with.

  This morning, he had looked at me as though he didn’t even know me; it was like I was a stranger to him and I couldn’t figure out why. I still couldn’t figure out what I had done that was so bad, that he couldn’t even tell me about it.

  “Hey, um…Flora, are you alright?” Tom, one of my co-workers asked as I passed him in the hallway.

  “Of course,” I answered, feigning the truth as best as I could, though I could tell by his reaction that I hadn’t done a very good job. “Why?” I asked, trying to recover, though I was sure that ship had indeed sailed.

  “I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but you seem a little…Off today?”

  “Well, you know, every day can’t be wonderful,” I grinned, even though I knew I came off sounding like a bitch.

  “Yeah, I know…Just, if you ever need to talk…”

  Tom was a weaselly little man, that liked to gossip more than most women, so come hell or high water, I was not going to give him any indication about how I was feeling or what I was going through. That simply wasn’t an option, unless I wanted my personal business blown out of proportion and slapped all over the building, like a cheap smut column.

  Still, I knew I couldn’t say that to him, so, I simply tightened my grin and answered, “Thank you, Tom. That’s very sweet of you, but I’m completely fine.”