Desire_A Romance Collection Page 24

  “Mandi is a good friend to you, isn’t she?” he asked me quietly, seemingly still worrying about the long forgotten trouble I had with those girls what feels like a lifetime ago now. “I like her a lot.”

  “Oh, she’s the best. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

  “Yeah, same for me and Zane. He’s been my rock.”

  As if I didn’t feel bad enough, now I feel utterly awful. I need to stop these feelings before they threaten the few things that I actually have left!

  Chapter Four – Zane

  I have an inflated sense of confidence as I stroll through the front door to my massive, cold home which most people admire even though they shouldn’t. It might look nice on the outside but it’s soul sucking on the inside. There’s no real family or warmth and that’s why I don’t like being here. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t think anything can get to me today. After that small conversation with Leah I can’t keep the smile off my face.

  If she’s in a good place then Brandon will be happier too. I eventually managed to pull him out of his shell at the party last night and I want to keep him there. He deserves to feel loads of positivity.

  Even though I don’t want to, I always pop home for a few moments after school, just to keep Mom happy. When I used to avoid it for days at a time, she would worry so much and I don’t want that. Maybe we aren’t the closest of families, but I do what I can to keep her happy. I think she’s buried a lot by my dad, she doesn’t feel like she has much of a voice, and I don’t want to ignore her either. I don’t want to bury her like he does.

  “Hello!” I call out in a sing song tone of voice. “Is anyone here?”

  I wander from room to room, trying to find anyone, and soon I see Mom. She’s hunched over, looking stressed. As she glances up to look at me, I see a lot of myself reflected in her. She’s got the same dark hair and green eyes. I think I take after her a lot more than I do my father. I get my height from him, but that’s about it.

  “Mom?” I narrow my eyes at her curiously. “Is everything okay?”

  She bites down on her bottom lip and gives me a look. I can see agony behind her gaze, which makes my heart stop dead in my chest. Something bad has happened, now it’s up to me to figure out what it is.

  “I’m sorry,” she mutters at me, almost silently. “I didn’t have anything to do with this.”

  Oh God, that means my dad has been meddling about in my life again. It’s not the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last either, but it still makes me groan internally. I hate it when he does anything, it’s never what I want. I rack through my brains, trying to work out where he could be meddling, but I can’t figure it out.

  Then I sense his shadow behind me. His looming, unwelcome presence that’s here to destroy my day.

  “Ah, son, you’re home.” He sounds much too self-satisfied for my liking. That isn’t going to work out well for me. “Good, there are certain things that I want to talk to you about.”

  I roll my eyes before slowly turning to face him. I know that he’s a powerful man in his company, and he’s known for being ruthless and stamping over everyone to get to where he needs to be, but I don’t think that he needs to be that way at home too. I think he could let it go if he really wanted to, but he never does.

  “What’s that, Dad? Because I have somewhere that I need to be tonight, if you don’t mind?”

  “Oh, you aren’t going anywhere tonight.” He indicates for me to sit down, and annoyingly I actually do it. “We have a lot to discuss and since it involves your future I think it’s best if you just sit there and listen.”

  “You don’t need to worry about my future, thank you very much, I have it sorted.”

  “Oh yeah?” Dad folds his arms across his chest and I see Mom behind him shrinking in on herself. “Please, enlighten me with this wonderful plan that you have. I’m sure that we’re all dying to hear it.”

  I part my lips, desperate for an amazing idea to come out, but truth be told I haven’t thought much about it. I know what I want to do, I want to work with bikes, but as for a laid out idea, I don’t have one.

  “Yes, that’s what I thought.” Dad nods, happy with himself. “So, since you don’t have an amazing idea, I’m going to tell you what you’re going to do. Luckily for you, I have a lot of pull at some of the top colleges in the country, and I’ve managed to get you a place on a medical course in California…”

  “Medical course?” I screw my nose up in disgust. “I can’t do a medical course. I don’t even have any interest in medicine, and isn’t that something that you need really good grades for? That’s just not happening.”

  “Son, you are smart, we all know that. You just don’t apply yourself, and I don’t know if you remember, but you dreamt when you were about eight years old being a doctor, so now I’m making that dream come true.”

  “Are you kidding?” I leap up so quickly that something falls to the ground with a thud. I don’t even bother to look what it is. “When I was eight? That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. Do you even listen to yourself?”

  “Well, you haven’t had any good ideas since, so why not go with this one?” He offers me a one shouldered shrug. “It’s certainly the smartest thing that I’ve ever heard you say so we’re going with it. Also, this course I have you on is perfect for you. You’ll do a one year foundation course to make up for the lack of grades that we all know that you’re going to end up with after high school, especially if you sabotage yourself, and then you will be given the chance to do something productive with your life. Does that not sound like a good idea?”

  “No, it doesn’t!” I throw my hands above my head in shock. “I can’t believe you are even suggesting this, Dad. I’m in control of my own future. I’m an adult now. This is nothing to do with you.”

  I break off panting, anger tearing violently through my system. I knew that my dad was a control freak, he’s always been like that, but this is one step too far, this is utterly unforgivable.

  “You intend to send me away. Just to get rid of me, in a way that makes you feel better about yourself. Do you not understand that I don’t want anything to do with your plan? I have my own ideas.”

  “You have nothing.” My dad explodes in temper, slamming his fists on the table. “If you are left to your own devices then you’ll end up doing absolutely nothing. Don’t you understand that I’m doing this because I love you? I want what’s best for you. I want you to have it all. I’m willing to pay for your education, I want to fund you while you’re getting your education, and I’ll support you through your medical career too.”

  I try to picture myself in a medical career. Much as I know it’ll be worthwhile and it’ll be a great job, all I can see is the sadness in my eyes. It won’t be me, I won’t be happy. I need to be myself.

  “Mom?” I glance behind Dad’s back and give her a pleading look. “Help me?”

  She refuses to look at me, it’s almost as if she can’t drag her eyes off the ground. Dad has gotten to her. He’s under her skin and there’s no way she can climb out of it. “Son, we both want what’s best for you. I think this might be a good thing for you to do. You need to get away from here, to try a different life, to see if it’s better.”

  Urgh, this is killer. I want to get away, I really do, but it’s them I want to escape. And I want to do it on my terms, not theirs. I don’t want them to have any effect on my future.

  “See? We both think that this is for the best.” Again, with the smug voice, Dad smiles at me. “Your mother understands that this is for the best and I think it’s time for you to grow up and see it too.”

  Rage bubbles, I can’t contain it any longer. I’m not a violent person but I can feel myself about to punch a wall or something in frustration. I walked in this house tonight with a positive attitude and they’ve just sucked it right out of me. How the hell am I supposed to deal with this? It’s a nightmare and one that I’ve just had flung on me. The terrib
le thing about my father is that he always ends up getting his own way. That’s just his nature.

  “So, that’s it?” I ask, needing clarification. “This is what’s happening now? I’m doing what you want, forgetting what I want, and becoming… what? Something in the medical industry just because?”

  “It’s not ‘just because’. It’s because I know what’s best for you and one day you’ll thank me.”

  I let out a grunt of frustration and storm from the room. There’s no way I’m standing around here and listening to another moment of this. I need to get out of this claustrophobic environment so I can finally breathe. I’m supposed to be headed to Brandon’s house, we have this whole night planned, but I don’t think I can face him. I’m afraid that he might agree with my dad and he might assume that I’d be better off at college. He hasn’t ever commented on my future plans before but I suppose we haven’t really discussed it. I haven’t ever brought it up and nor has he. This might be the chance for him to finally air out his feelings.

  I sit atop my bike and grab out my cell phone. I scroll through the numbers until I find Rosa’s name. She might be annoying and the tattoo might be a bit creepy, but I just need someone tonight and she’ll do. She’s definitely still more than up for it and as long as I don’t let her talk then it’ll be just fine.

  “Rosa,” I grunt into the phone, sounding more cave man than a decent person. “You up?”

  “Oh, my goodness,” she squeals, instantly knowing what this means. It’s like a code, two words that mean so much more. You up. So simple. “Yes, of course I’m up. You know where I live, don’t you?”

  “Sure, I know.” I slide my eyes closed in dismay. This isn’t where I thought this night would head. “I’m on the bike now, so it won’t be long until I arrive. You might as well get down to your underwear.”

  She makes an excitable noise, which leaves me wondering if this is something I should regret. But then, if it’s dealing with Rosa who has the potential to turn into a stalker, or facing my future then the choice is obvious. I’ll do absolutely anything to put that behind me for the time being. I just need to forget.

  I bring the bike to life and I roar along the road with a horrible sense of dissatisfaction in my chest. I’m disgusted with my father, I know controlling he is in my life. It sucks. And even worse is my mother simply allowing it to happen, as if she thinks that’s a good idea. Everyone else gets to choose whatever the hell they want to do with their future and I’m having that stripped away from me. I haven’t ever felt so helpless in my life. The more I think about it, the less I know how I’m going to get out of this.

  Fuck my life!

  Chapter Five – Leah

  Zane’s visits seem to get less frequent over the next couple of weeks. I don’t know what it is, but all of a sudden, he isn’t around quite as much anymore. When I attempt to bring it up to Brandon he shuts down a little, mentioning something about a new fling in his life taking up all of his time. To be honest, that doesn’t hurt as much as the look on my brother’s face whenever I bring it up. It seems like there’s something more going on here, but I don’t know what it is. I wish I could find out because it’s causing a lot of tension in the house.

  “So,” Mom says with a smile as she presents us both with breakfast. Since she isn’t around much, she likes to do what she can when she is here. “What’s going on with you two? It feels like it’s been forever since we last talked. How’s school? How’s… I don’t know life?” She laughs awkwardly. “Anything, come on, tell me.”

  I glance at Brandon, hoping that he’s going to go first but his eyes are fixed on his food. He definitely doesn’t want to talk. I sigh loudly, assuming that it’s up to me. Only, I don’t really have anything to say.

  “Erm, school is good,” I say slowly. “It’s just the same as normal, you know how it is.”

  “Right, I see.” Mom seems to sense something going on with Brandon because she turns her attention to him. “What about you?” Brandon gives Mom a half smile but doesn’t say anything. “Hey, it’s your birthday coming up soon, isn’t it? Eighteen years old. We better have a real party, hadn’t we?” She gives him a desperate look, trying her hardest, but still Brandon’s are sky high. “You’ll want to celebrate, especially when it’s the last one that you’ll have here. The next one you’ll be celebrating at college, won’t you? This is important…”

  “No, Mom, I don’t want anything,” he replies sullenly, still not looking up. “I don’t want to worry about anything else but school at the moment. I don’t want to be thinking about partying or birthdays or whatever.”

  This is shocking. My brother loves a party and I’ve heard him talking about his eighteenth for years. I instantly know that I need to step in and help Brandon feel okay again. If this is because of Zane, then it sucks. It’s bad enough that I’m pissed off and hurt because of his actions, without it affecting someone else, my brother.

  “Oh, come on, Brandon, it’ll be fun,” I say while resting my hand on his. “You know that you’ll regret it if you don’t do it. You need a good party to celebrate getting so old. I mean, eighteen, come on!”

  I laugh loudly, finally dragging his eyes up from his food. Brandon’s face eventually cracks into a weak smile. He doesn’t look happy yet, but at least he’s finally making eye contact. That’s a good sign, right?

  “Old?” he shoots back. “You realize that you aren’t far behind, don’t you? You’ll be in this place soon.”

  “Yeah, and I’ll be having a kick ass party to celebrate, believe you me! I’ll have everyone here singing happy birthday to me.” I can see myself getting through to him, so I push just that little bit further. “You know that everyone will want to celebrate with you. They all love you! Let everyone sing to you as well.”

  He doesn’t talk for a while, but the next thing he says fills me with a deep sense of relief. “You know what? You’re right. We should have a party. It’ll be fun. Are you sure about this, Mom? It might be chaos.”

  Mom looks happy too, she gives me a smiling glance, thanking me with her eyes for bringing Brandon around.

  “Of course, it’ll be chaos. I’m expecting that. I had an eighteenth birthday party myself once. But I want to do it for you. I don’t get to be around here as much as I’d like to, so this is to make up for that.”

  Brandon grins at me, looking happy for the first time in days, and I give him a grin too. I already know that there will be a lot of people at this party, and it’s the first one that I’ll be invited to as well. I can really use it as a way to burst out of my bubble, I can get something amazing to wear and really make the world see me in a different light. Maybe even Zane will see me in a different light, he might finally know that I’m an adult.

  No, I remind myself sharply. No, I’m not thinking about Zane. None of this will be for him. This is for me. Nothing I do will ever be for Zane again. I’m forgetting about him, he doesn’t exist to me anymore.

  “We should get planning,” Mom says overly happily. “Decide what we’re going to do.”

  “Oh, we could do a themed party, couldn’t we? That could be fun. And I could invite all the class…”

  As they talk, I sit back and think about this. I have an intense urge to go out today to pick something to wear. Maybe I’ll ask Mandi to go with me after school to the mall to see what we can find. She might want to get something new to wear as well. Obviously, she’ll be coming, I don’t think Brandon will have a problem with that. We can both break out of our mould and try to get everyone else to see us in a different light. Maybe if I can get some other guys to notice me, I won’t be obsessed with Zane so much. Maybe I can even get a boyfriend who actually likes me. A smile comes to my lips as I start to see a new future for myself. One that’s just for me.

  ***

  “Oh, my goodness, this is so exciting!” Mandi squeals as we walk through the store. “Our first party.”

  I give her a look before turning my eyes back to the racks of
clothes. With her deep shock of red hair and her pale skin, I think she’ll need a dark dress to bring out her best features. I grab one off the shelf that’s midnight blue with a plunging neck line. It might be a bit much for her but I decide to suggest it anyway.

  “I think you should wear this.” I shove it into her hands. “Or at least try it on. You need to look sexy.”

  Mandi gives me a look. “Okay fine. I’ll try it on, but you have to wear this.”

  She hands me a red and white polka dot dress that has a sweetheart neck line and a skirt that will puff out around my waist. The idea of wearing this makes my heart hammer against my rib cage and nerves coil in my stomach, but I have to at least try it on, just to see what it looks like. Just in case it’s amazing.

  “Fine, I will. But let’s get more stuff.” I smile at her. “I think we might need a few.”

  Giggling playfully, we move around the store and grab armfuls of dresses. This is a part of high school that I’ve missed out on so far, and it feels good to take part in it. Even if it doesn’t happen again and it’s just the once, I want to embrace every aspect of being invited to the party of the cool kids. I just hope it goes to plan.

  “Right, come on. I think it’s time to go into the changing rooms and try these on.”

  As me and Mandi try on the selection of dresses, some of them too conservative, some of them far too sexy, we have a great time. In the end, she picks a little black dress with a ruffled neck line and a elegance as it skims past her knees, and I go for the polka dot dress. It’s quirky, it’s sexy but in a more subtle way, and it’s fun. I’ll stand out anyway, and although that isn’t a position I normally want to find myself in, for Brandon’s party I do. I’m attempting to step out of my shell and becoming a much better person. Maybe that will make the rest of high school that much more bearable. I don’t want to stick my head in the clouds, but it would be nice to think that I could go through the rest of school without suffering any teasing.