When wrong feels so right Page 3

  “This is a beautiful space. I think I want to pinch myself and make sure that I’m not dreaming.” I listened to the waves as I worked, arranging my shirts by color.

  “Wait until you see Ella having a meltdown. You might question that statement,” Carli told me before laughing as I glanced at her. “She’s a happy kid most of the time but gets headstrong when she wants something. I think that Than has done a great job with everything.”

  I wondered if this was a good time to ask about her mom. I kept working, and the room went quiet for a few minutes. “What kind of schedule does she have?” That seemed safe to ask.

  “I am sure that it probably hasn’t been consistent in the last year or so. I have been getting her ready for bed around eight. I don’t always give her a bath, but I make a point of reading to her. I have always loved reading. From what I’ve seen, she wakes up around seven and takes a nap after lunch. That can last two hours sometimes, and I’d highly recommend napping yourself.” She giggled, and I laughed with her. “Ella has so much energy and she loves learning anything that she can. There’s a new Jag in the garage so you can do day trips. She loves places that she can run around and that makes me scared to take her to the movies.” I stopped hanging clothes and gazed at her in shock. “What?”

  “Jaguar?” I clarified as she nodded with a confused look on her face. “Where is the garage?”

  “Right this way,” Carli offered as she led the way out of the room. Had I been thinking properly, I would have realized that the garage was attached to the kitchen like most houses, but my mind was reeling right now. She walked through the gorgeous chef’s kitchen and through a door that led to a large multi-car space. I paused and looked around, seeing a sleek blue sport car and a burgundy SUV. It was beautiful, and my mouth dropped open. “That’s it. He drives a black Range Rover.”

  “I can’t drive that! It’s too nice. What’s wrong with my car?” I asked as she smiled sympathetically at me.

  “Than is something of an overprotective father. He wants Ella safe in every instance and his way to achieve that is through a new car that he’s researched to the point of obsession. This is like pocket change to my brother, Riley. Don’t worry about it.”

  “This is insane. I have a job watching a beautiful child, have a great place to live, amazing pay and this car to drive. I think I’m scared.” We walked into the house as the sound of crying filled the room.

  “It won’t be perfect by any means.” Carli winked at me as she bounded up the circular stairs to get Ella. I shook my head and went to finish organizing my clothes before grabbing my purse to run back to the apartment. I needed to bring a box of necessities if I were to stay the night here and I went to say hello to Ella before I left. She was watching a show with Carli in the living room and smiled sleepily at me.

  “I am going to be back, and we’ll play,” I promised her as her eyes lit up, making my heart melt. On the way to the door, I glanced at the stone mantel and saw a picture of a blonde woman with Nathan on a beach somewhere. I didn’t move closer to see it, but she was beautiful. I kept walking towards the front door to leave, wondering how much Nathan missed her. He seemed to appreciate that Ella wouldn’t have any memories of her mom but that didn’t mean that he hasn’t loved her.

  “It’s not my problem,” I told myself as I started my car, staring at the garage. I pulled out of the driveway and went back to pack a box of things I needed daily, stuff that would make the rooms feel like home for me. I added my salt lamp, Bluetooth speaker, laptop, and a few boxes of my favorite tea. I piled my favorite throw blankets over that, tucking it carefully into the box to keep everything secure before I carried the heavy package to my car. I placed in the back seat and locked the car to go make another one up. I walked over to the rental office when I was finished to give my notice and we agreed on a month since I was already paid up. That would give me time to move out slowly and get it cleaned up while I adjusted to the new job.

  I got back into my car and drove to the beach house again, grabbing the lighter box before I headed to the front door. The garage was open, and Nathan looked out to see me as he called out to ask if there was anything else in the car. I told him there was and watched as he walked over in his black slacks and crisp white shirt that molded against his chest perfectly, blinking as he turned to walk to the door after me. “Shit,” I murmured under my breath as I rushed forward, nearly losing my balance. He ended up opening the door for both of us and we walked back to the room together as I told him to drop it on the bed. Nathan placed it on the mattress like it was cotton and glanced around. “It is starting to look lived in.”

  “Little by little.” I replied as he looked at the pristine white mattress.

  “I have a set for this. Carli picked it out.” Nathan walked into the living room and bent over, offering me a view of his ass before returning with something in his arms. It was a bed-in-a-bag set in vibrant shades of green and he dropped it to the bed. “Like it?”

  “It’s pretty. It will add a lot of color to the room.” I reached out to touch the plastic of the packaging and smiled. “Thank you. For this, the job… everything. It means a lot.”

  Nathan smiled down at me, easily a few feet taller than my five-foot six frame. “You’re sort of saving my ass taking this job. I’ll relax knowing that Ella will be with the same person every day and I think you’ll do great.” I smiled back at him as our gazes locked for a long moment, making me feel butterflies in my stomach. I could get lost in those eyes and we both shifted as Ella called out for him. “I think that’s my cue. There are some meals in the fridge that we can have for dinner. Go ahead and choose something.”

  “Is there any food that can be cooked?” I called out as he turned to look at me for a second. “I can’t waste that gorgeous kitchen using your microwave.”

  Chapter 4: Nathan

  I watched as Riley plated the fried chicken as Carli and Ella transferred the fries to a plate. It smelled incredible, and I grabbed some plates to bring them to the table, shaking my head. When it was Ella and me, I heated something up and we managed to eat while I yawned through dinner after getting her up early for another bad babysitter. Tonight, she was at home with a kind, funny girl that could apparently cook.

  I wondered if I’d need to fire the chef, though anything more than light cooking was not a part of her job duties. I made a mental note to tell her that and Carli brought over one plate and Riley the other. I sensed a nervous energy about her as I picked Ella up and settled her in her seat, giving her a sippy cup of fresh milk. Riley ran back into the kitchen and brought in a bowl of corn, sitting down beside me as she told us to eat.

  Carli gave me a sharp look before she got a plate ready for Ella. My daughter ate a little at every meal and grazed a lot. I knew that there would be some dessert a bit later, and I helped myself to a big piece of chicken and some fries as the others scooped corn onto their plates. I took some of that and looked at Riley with a warm smile. “Thank you for this. It smells amazing, but you know I don’t expect it from you. Don’t you?” I watched as she blushed and sipped her water.

  “My mama was an incredible cook and so is my sister. I haven’t had a proper kitchen in a long time, so I wanted to cook. I find it to be therapeutic, to be honest," she told me as I took a bite of the chicken. It was better than it smelled.

  “In that case, have at it. Don’t push yourself too hard in the process.” She beamed at me as Carli smiled around her fork, and I tried a fry. Just as good. “So, I’d like to discuss a schedule as far as Ella. It’s been a little hectic around here lately.”

  “Sure.” She tore a piece of meat from the bone and I watched silently as she chewed it.

  “You already know that I like her to be busy. I want Ella to learn everything that she can at this age but have a good routine at the same time. I want her to have some normal to her life after the last year. I am thinking that she could be in a bath by seven if it’s necessary and bed by eight? Carli has be
en reading books to her lately, and she loves that.” I smiled at Carli. “I am not too worried about when she wakes up at this point, just that she eats a good breakfast as soon as she’s hungry. I just want her to know something steady in her life.” I frowned as the memories flashed through my mind before shaking my head. I felt someone touch my arm and looked over at Riley.

  “It’s okay, Nathan. She’s going to be fine.” Her voice was soothing, and I nodded slowly. I trusted her. “I think tomorrow we’ll hang around the house and maybe go down to the beach. Keep it light. She can spend the last few hours with her aunt here and we’ll get to know each other.”

  “That sounds great,” Carli agreed as she nodded. I told Riley the activities that she liked so far, and we discussed future plans as Ella chimed in about things she liked. After dinner, Carli pleaded with us to let her do the bath since it was her last night and I grinned and agreed.

  I helped Riley carry the dishes into the kitchen and she started to get ready to wash them. “I’ll help,” I offered as she looked up at me.

  “You don’t work from home?”

  I laughed and shrugged. “Sometimes. Not tonight.” I stood beside her and told her that I’d rinse, and she grinned and started working. We chatted softly as she handed the plates to me to rinse and set them in the rack. I had a dishwasher, but Riley appeared to be enjoying this, so I went with it.

  I also didn’t mind being this close to her. She smelled like citrus with a hint of vanilla and I took a slow breath through my nose. There was something about Riley that made me want to be close to her all the time. That scared me.

  When we were finished, she dried her hands and gave me the towel as our eyes locked again. I swallowed slowly as I stared into her big eyes, getting lost in them. I hadn’t felt for any woman what I was starting to feel with Riley and I watched as she licked her full lower lip. It was slow, and my eyes dropped to watch as I felt myself strain against my pants. Time slowed as I moved my gaze back to her eyes as she pressed her lips together, moving slowly towards me as I watched.

  My head moved naturally towards her, tilting to meet her mouth. I was close when I heard footsteps on the stairs and Ella’s voice before I pulled away reluctantly. We stepped away from each other and I turned as my daughter ran into my arms, her hair damp from her bath. I held her tight and closed my eyes as I willed my erection to go down.

  We made our way to the bedroom, so I could watch Carli read to her as Riley slipped into her room. I looked back as she disappeared and headed up the stairs after Carli. Ella talked her into two books and I smiled from the recliner in her room as my sister settled back against the wall. She loved spending time with Ella and I felt relieved that she just lived in Seattle and could visit often, depending on her job as a publicist.

  Carli kissed Ella’s head and stood as I went to whisper how much I loved her. I told her to have sweet dreams and that I’d be home for breakfast in the morning before we both left the room and closed the door. Carli sighed and told me that she was going to finish packing while I looked from my room to the stairs. I chose the stairs and grabbed a beer from the fridge before wandering back to the closed door of Riley’s room. I sipped the beer and tapped on the door, hearing footsteps on the hardwood floor. Riley opened the door gently and looked out at me with a surprised smile. “Hi.”

  “Ella is down for the night. I am going to be here for breakfast tomorrow so don’t worry about getting up right away.” I leaned into the frame, my hands keeping me from pressing closer to her like I wanted to.

  “I have the monitor on. I didn’t listen to you guys or anything but turned it on afterward. I wanted to be ready for her.” Riley was dressed in leggings and an oversized t-shirt that hung from one shoulder, baring her skin. She looked right into my face as she licked her lips, her face freshly washed and beautiful in a way no woman had ever been before now. “It’s my job, Nathan.” There was a reverence to her voice, a reminder of why she was here despite the attraction flowing between us.

  “I am often home for breakfast with her. I am also taking my sister to the airport tomorrow, so I have the day off.” She nodded and leaned against the crisp, white wall as she bit her lip. Fuck me but I loved everything that she did with that mouth. “You’re welcome to come along. We might have lunch along the way. Carli always has a hard time leaving Ella.”

  “I can see why,” Riley drawled lightly as a blush washed over her pale cheeks. “I’d love to.”

  “Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” I dropped my eyes to her lips again before reluctantly pulling back. I thought that I loved my Brenda when we first met but it was nothing like this. It was hot lust that faded once we were married with a baby and reality set in for her. Even if she didn’t get the cancer, I suspected that we were headed towards the end of us. I felt my skin heat up as my eyes slipped down her petite but curvy body, lifting them to her face as my body reacted a bit too strongly.

  “Good night, Nathan,” Riley called out as I turned to leave. “Sweet dreams.”

  “More like wet ones,” I murmured to myself before I looked over my shoulder and nodded at her. I kept going, shutting the lights off downstairs and making sure everything was locked before heading upstairs. I switched my monitor on, knowing that Ella was capable of getting up and coming to find me if she needed anything. I still listened so I would know the second that she did. I wondered if it had to do with the time that I was dealing with Brenda dying in the den and was always on edge. I attributed to it being my protectiveness of my daughter. I dressed for bed as I stared into the mirror, trying to sort of my thoughts as I moved automatically.

  I walked over to the bed, sliding the window open to listen to the ocean. All the bedrooms had a view of the water and I thought about Riley in her room below me. She was different from anyone I’d ever met, and I barely knew her. I was her fucking employer and needed to learn some self-control and soon. I dropped on the bed and shut the light off as I thought back over the last few years. It all happened so fast, too quickly for me to take it all in right away. I closed my eyes and dropped against my pillows as the guilt hit me. It was always the same lately… I didn’t miss Brenda the way that I should. I wanted to be devastated like everyone that told me how sorry they had expected me to be. It wasn’t easy raising a baby on my own after that, but I loved every moment that we spent together. I didn’t find it to be a sacrifice, just exhausting.

  I felt the blood surge to my groin as I imagined Riley’s bare shoulder. How the hell could just a shoulder get me all wound up? I reached into my workout shorts and gripped it, thinking about the routine sex I’d had a few days ago. It felt like nothing to me and I slipped my hand up, knowing that this was going to be much better with my nanny’s face and body in my head. I jerked forward, rocking into my hand as I let my mind wander to the things I wanted to do to her. I got a little crazy with the fantasy and moved harder, feeling the pressure at the base of my cock. I moaned her name softly as I jerked, coming into the shorts and my hand and my body tingled.

  I went to clean up and change, slipping under the blankets as I let out a weary sigh. I needed to get this out of my system and start acting like a man, not a teenager like I was right now. I turned on the TV to distract me though my brain just kept running with the fantasy. Tomorrow she would be here all day and it would be a normal thing. I’d get over this desire that was taking control of me.

  Chapter 5: Riley

  I slept fitfully after Nathan left me last night, restless as I kept thinking about his sexy mouth. His lips were full and the combination of that and those blue eyes made me want to break the rules I set after I took this job. I was his nanny and if I wasn’t, we’d never cross paths. He would never want a simple girl like me, not when he was this older, successful man. He could have any woman that he wanted and probably did. Maybe that’s why he needed a nanny. He wanted to have free time to have some private time for himself.

  I shook my head and turned on my side as the wind blew
outside. Despite my anxiety, this was a beautiful home and a room that I’d learn to enjoy. It just wasn’t truly mine yet. I needed to finish getting my things here and sorted, so there was some order to my new place. I knew that it was the morning but not what time, and I focused on the monitor to see if Ella was moving yet.

  Nope. It was quiet.

  I snuggled under the blanket that I’d pulled from the set last night and smiled. I thought that Carli was staying for another day but according to Nathan, she was leaving today. I’d truly be alone with the little girl and working as a nanny. She was not overwhelming to me at all, but the prospect of a new job was. I rolled to the other side as I breathed in, closing my eyes to sleep a bit longer. This bed was comfortable, and I drifted back off to sleep until I heard Ella over the monitor.

  I listened as she called out for Nathan, smiling as he walked in to greet her. He was so sweet as he chatted with her and responded to her happy giggles. I glanced at the window to see that it was bright out now and crawled to the head of the bed to look outside and take in the ocean.