Hero Next Door (Next Door Romance Book 2) Page 5

  Because of that I barely slept, I kept thinking about Esme all night long, and now… well, now I’m at work, barely keeping up with the banter because my head is all over the place. I keep trying to analyze what I did wrong, what I might have done to set her along the path of terror and running away, and there is so much.

  Well, actually I don’t know what I did wrong. I keep thinking that I might have done things wrong, but I’m not so sure. I’m just picking up on anything, trying to find ways to make things right again because I have to. I want to, I don’t feel like I have any choice. I like Esme a lot and I don’t want to lose her so quickly… even if I just get to keep her as a friend from now on. She’s my next door neighbor and she’s sweet. Plus, I still want to help her with her job. Since that is the thing bringing her down, I don’t want to make things worse for her.

  “Theo, hey…” Freddie pokes me in the side, shaking me from my thoughts of the red haired beauty who I can’t get out of my mind. “What’s going on with you? I haven’t ever seen you this quiet before?”

  There is no way in hell that I’m going to tell my friends about what happened. They will rip me to shreds and honestly I’m not in the right place of mind to be able to handle teasing about Esme. My ex-wife, fine, but her… no I’m still feeling all weird and sensitive about it. I still want to work out what’s happening first.

  “Tired, mate.” I offer him a lop sided smile. “Struggling to sleep in the new house. Can’t get used to it.”

  “Maybe you need to take on some more night shifts and sleep here. Then you’ll stop being a miserable fuck.”

  I laugh loudly. “You know what, that sounds like a good idea, but that might be because I’m so shattered at the moment. I don’t really think that’s the way for me to get used to my new house though. To avoid it.”

  “Please, for the love of God, don’t tell me that you are missing the bitchy ex of yours.” He rolls his eyes. “Because I think that it’s better for you to be away from her. You can’t get any more middle of the night visits…”

  “Oh, definitely,” I agree right away. “I don’t want that. I moved to get away from her. At least now she doesn’t know where I live so she might leave me alone. Fingers crossed she will even meet someone new…”

  “Would you be okay with that?” Freddie’s eyes soften. “Because I know that it’s one thing to say that it’s fine for an ex to move on, but the reality of it hurts more than anything else. We have all been there…”

  There is a strange hush around the room. It clings to me and won’t let go. My work mates are all staring at me expectantly, searching deep within me. How am I still here so long after the break up? How are people still asking me about this when I am in the middle of trying to move on myself? Maybe because I’m not being honest…

  “I wouldn’t mind,” I reply honestly. “I would like her to focus her attention elsewhere. I think that would be the healthiest thing. Then if I ever get to the point where I want to move on, then I will be able to. Plus, I don’t like worrying that she’s going to turn up in the middle of the night. We’re divorced now, that needs to be someone else’s issue.” I let out a little laugh and everyone else nervously joins in. “It’s fine, I’m fine. Just tired.”

  I can see that my friends don’t totally trust that I’m okay, and I guess it’s nice to know that they all care about me, but right now all I want to do is muse by myself without everyone’s eyes up on me.

  It’s actually a strange relief when the fire bell rings out and we have work to do. We all leap up in unison and I hope that at least for the time being, everyone is satisfied that I am coping…

  Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

  “Whoever’s phone that is, will you answer it for crying out loud?” I yell. “I need a freaking coffee in peace.”

  “It’s yours,” Ashley yells at me from the food vending machine with a cheeky smile playing on her lips. “Don’t you recognize the sound of your own cell phone ringing? God, Theo, you really are scatter brained today.”

  My immediate thought rushes to Esme, but it isn’t going to be her, is it? She doesn’t have my cell phone number. Urgh, I would love to see where her head is at right now. It would reassure me to know where her head it at. There isn’t really anyone else that I want to speak to right now, but since I just made a massive fuss of someone stopping that ringing sound, I need to follow my own rules. I grab my phone and walk out in to the hallway.

  “Hello?” I don’t recognize the number, so I answer using the most professional tone of voice I can manage, just in case this is someone that by some miracle I do actually want to talk to. “Theo Landing speaking. Who’s calling?”

  “Theo fucking Landon.” I nearly hang up the phone in an instant. “You know who’s calling, you fucking asshole.”

  “How did you get this number, Jane? Do I really need to change my phone again?” My heart pounds in my mouth. There is no way that I need to be having this conversation right now. It almost feels like the conversation that I had with everyone earlier about never wanting to talk to Jane again has come back to haunt me. “What are you doing?”

  “I don’t think that you and me are done yet, do you?” she sneers. I don’t need to be able to see her to know that her brightly painted red lip is curled up in to an angry snarl. “We still have a lot to talk about. It doesn’t matter how many times you change your number, or even if you move house… oh yes, I know about that, you can’t get away from what needs to be done. So, why don’t you stop running like a little bitch and face me.”

  I deflate like a God damn balloon. I fall apart and lean against the wall because I need something to hold me upright. This is a nightmare, an absolute fucking nightmare, I want to get the hell away from here. From her. Maybe I should have given up my job after all to move further away. Natasha did advise me as much but I wouldn’t listen.

  “There is nothing left for us to talk about, and you know it, Jane. We are done. Don’t you have enough lawyer fees to confirm that much? Once something is sorted in court, that’s the end of it. What else do you want?”

  “My ring.” Oh for fuck sake, it’s always something else. “My engagement ring. I want my diamond…”

  “You threw it at me. You aimed it at my face,” I reply in a monotone voice. “When you tell me that you never want it back because you can’t stand to look at it, you give up your right to it. You know that, right? Also, I have to point out if that’s something that you wanted then you should have mentioned it through proceedings.”

  “You know what a fucking divorce is like,” she screams, over reacting as she normally does. “You can’t always remember everything. But I want it now. It’s a memento of our relationship and while it ended shit, I still want to remember the good parts of it. You want that as well, right? You can’t only focus on the bad bits…”

  “I don’t want to think about it at all,” I shut her down coldly. To be honest, I would give her the ring if I thought that it would shut this nightmare down but I know how she is and it’s always just on to the next thing. There is no end. She will always find something to bring in my direction to keep this going. “It’s done, it’s over.”

  “How the fuck can you be so cold, Theo?” she shrieks some more. “How the fuck can you just forget our marriage like that? Did it mean nothing to you? God, I’m trying to remember the good bits. I’m trying to get something good out of those years. I don’t want it to all be a massive fucking waste. Why are you like this?”

  “What is this phone call about?” I ask her wearily. “Do you want the ring? Or is it something else? Are you calling because you want me to remember our marriage? Because you aren’t exactly making sense.”

  “Oh fuck you, Theo. Fuck you to hell. Are you really being this asshole right now?”

  I pull the cell phone away from my ear as she continues to rant and yell. Freddie pokes his head around the door to check on me and as soon as he hears the screaming from the phone he knows what’s
going on. I roll my eyes and he joins in. I hope that he can how little I really want this to keep this going on. I am done with this.

  “Jane, I…” I try and talk over the yelling but it keeps on coming. “I… I have to go…”

  I hang up. She is still shouting at me but I hang up and cut her off. Then I block her number so she can’t call me again, but I’m sure that she will find another way. She always does find a way.

  “Fuck…” I go back in to the rec room where everyone else is sitting. “That was intense and just another reminder that marriage is not for me. In fact a relationship is not something for me, not long term anyway. I’m not going to fall in love again.”

  “Oh you know that’s a clue that you’re about to fall in love,” Ashley yells teasingly at me. “Anyone who says that they are done with romance always falls head over heels. You might well be in trouble.”

  I roll my eyes and snort with laughter, trying to disguise the fact that my brain immediately flies to Esme when I thought of never falling in love again. But just because we had a fling, just because we had a one night stand and she freaked out after, it doesn’t mean that me and her are about to fall in love.

  “I’m not in trouble,” I shoot out, probably a little too harshly because I’m trying to cover up my own feelings. “Jane has put me off women for life. I don’t want to ever think about romance again. I mean, what fucking drama! Does anyone need that shit? Not me, that’s for sure. I just want to live my normal simple life.”

  But if that’s the truth, then why am I sucking myself in to drama with Esme? Why do I want to be in the drama with her? What is it about her that I find so endlessly intoxicating? I just can’t get enough.

  Chapter 9 – Esme

  “Don’t go,” Mr. Jones insists the moment that he sees me reaching for my bag at the end of the day. “I’m not finished with you yet. We need to have another meeting because if this shit storm doesn’t get sorted out soon…”

  I sigh heavily. I should have known that it was too good to be true. For the first time in a very long time, my boss has seemed much calmer than usual, not on edge like he normally is. He hasn’t even yelled at me once all day long. To be fair that might just be because he hasn’t done much speaking to anyone, he’s mostly kept to himself, but it was still nice. I was able to just get my work done without my shoulders all stressed and rolled up around my ears.

  But now… well, now as my bag slumps back down on my chair, I realize that it was all just building to this instead. Some kind of epic show down that I just don’t want to face. Mr. Jones let me slide my guard down just so that he can take me out once and for all. Who the hell knows, this might even be the day that I get fired.

  That would be just my luck, wouldn’t it? After what happened with Theo. The time that I have had alone today has allowed me to think about it all, and honestly my head is all over the place. I don’t know what to think or feel, I am a mess, officially. Why did I get so tipsy around him? Why did I allow myself to cave to sensations? Why did I sleep with him even though I know that it can only be a bad idea which leaves me with a neighbor dispute?

  I went to apologize to him and after the way that I panicked, and ran out of his house like a complete and utter weirdo, I feel like I need to say sorry to him again. Only this time it will be much too embarrassing…

  God, I’m at the edge of what I can handle. I’m really on the edge of everything. With that hanging over my head and my guard let down at work, I don’t know what I can take from Mr. Jones right now. But as I watch everyone else filter out of the building, leaving me by myself with him… again, I know that I don’t have a choice.

  I suck in a breath, a nervous, anxious breath and try to still myself. I need to be ready, I need to be prepared for whatever is going to come my way. I can’t crack under pressure or I will lose everything. I can just take it like I always do, be the punching bag like I always am, then go home to my normal life…

  Even if my life at home isn’t exactly normal at the moment. But one problem at a time, let’s not get overwhelmed.

  “Esme, I don’t know what the fuck is going on at the moment,” he breathes out, the anger that I thought wasn’t there all day long finally bubbling to the surface in a terrifying rage. “I don’t know what is the matter with you or anyone else in this company to be honest. It is as if no one wants me to succeed.”

  “E… everyone wants this company to be successful,” I try my best to counter act, just as an attempt to cool this down before it gets out of hand. “We all want to keep our jobs here. If this place fails, then we all lose out…”

  “But no one quite as much as me, right?” His snarl suggests that I definitely shouldn’t argue with this. “I will be the one who ends up with nothing. No company, no cash flow, no prospects, and no wife.”

  Okay, now he’s looking at me for answers and I really don’t know what to say. This is a fucking confusing roller coaster and I really want to get off. “I… I didn’t know that you didn’t have a wife… I didn’t ever ask…”

  “No, you didn’t, did you, Esme?” Oh God, why does his tone suggest that he is leading somewhere with this? “Because then we would have to confront whatever this is between us, wouldn’t we? We would have to face our feelings instead of bitching at one another, and that would make life complicated at work.”

  “Erm…” What the hell is happening here? I’m so dizzy that I could fall over at any given moment. Was Theo’s jokes about the boss having a thing for me right? That seems utterly impossible, I mean a relationship with him is just so utterly crazy that I wouldn’t ever consider it, not really but what Mr. Jones is saying is fucking terrifying.

  “But we might not have to worry about the company anymore.” He takes a step closer to me, his eyes dancing with delight. He must be able to sense the ice cold terror darting through my veins, but perhaps that’s what he wants. Maybe he is one of those weird people who gets off on people being freaked out. I have always thought of him as a bit strange… “If the business is going to sink like it seems it will, we only have one another left.”

  “I… I’m leaving…” I manage to blurt out, just as the panic takes hold of me. I can’t let him come to me no matter what. “I can’t do this anymore. It’s… it’s damaging to me, to my mental health, I need to… to…”

  I want to run, to race out of this building and never come back again. No pay check is worth this, I would much rather live on the streets than have to deal with this man again. But for some reason, I feel stuck in place, like fear has encased me in lead and there is no way out for me. Mr. Jones definitely likes this, I can see it in his eyes.

  Why didn’t I see this coming? How the hell did I not know? There must have been some signs somewhere…

  “You aren’t going anywhere, Esme, not until we have discussed this properly.” Unfortunately, Mr. Jones isn’t paralyzed with fear like me, so he darts over to the door and clamps it shut behind himself. “This isn’t over.”

  My eyes are swimming, melting in fear, and as I dart my eyes around the room, I notice some strange things on Mr. Jones’ desk, things that are not normally there, but to be honest I’m not worried about his work or out of work hobbies right now, I just want to escape. I haven’t ever found myself in a situation so dangerous before, so I don’t know how to deal with it, how I’m supposed to process it. I’ve been too sheltered, too hidden until now.

  “P… please let me go.” Is that a tear leaking down my cheek? It’s a good time to be crying, I suppose. “I just… I just need to go. Whatever you want me to do to make this right again, I can do it tomorrow…”

  I hope he thinks that I don’t have the guts to walk away from this business, but with what he’s doing to me right now, it would take a ton more courage for me ever to walk back through those doors again. I will miss Delia, of course, but she is the only thing that I will miss about this place. Honestly, how have I not walked away so much sooner? How have I forced myself through those doors every si
ngle day? I don’t understand.

  “Tell me how you feel about me,” he growls while grabbing on to my arm hard. There will definitely be a bruise there tomorrow. “I want to know. I want to hear it from your mouth. If I know that you and me are going to go the distance then I won’t be sad to say goodbye to all of this. It will have all been for a reason. I can’t lose it all though.”

  “What are you talking about?” I try my hardest to yank him off of me. “Why would you think like that? Like there could be anything between us? Like it’s worth sacrificing the company for? What about all the people working for you?”

  “I don’t care about them… only you…” Oh my God, he’s unhinged. I can see it in his eyes. He really is losing the plot. “I want you, Esme and I can see it in your eyes… you want me too. You always have done.”

  I just about manage to wrench my arm away, but the agony left behind rages in my skin along with the finger prints that he has left on my arm. And to think that I assumed today was a good day with him…

  “I haven’t ever given you any signals, Mr. Jones. I don’t want to mistake anything here. I thought that you hated me which is why you’re always yelling.” My face is soaked. I must look a right state. Not that it matters because I don’t think that Mr. Jones can even register how I’m looking. He’s on some other fucking planet somewhere, still in the way of the door, blocking my exit. How the hell can I get him to move? “I didn’t know that this was coming…”

  “I want you to stay late with me, Esme, that’s always been the reason. I kept thinking that something would happen at some point between us but it never did. That’s why at this pivotal moment in my life, at these cross roads, I need to take action. I have to be brave and speak out, find out what our future is. I can’t keep waiting and wondering. You are a tease, Esme. You have always been a tease. Now it’s time to learn the truth once and for all.”