Inked Read online

“She’s beautiful!” Mom gushes. “What on earth is your father talking about?”

  I sigh with relief. This is good, there was a small part of me which feared she wouldn’t like Lexi either. I don’t know why I thought that, because she’s not judgmental at all.

  “She’s great as well. I suppose he’s mad because she works at the office, but it really is long term…”

  “Ah, I see.” Mom finally gets it. “So, that’s what’s going on. That’s why you’ve fallen out.”

  “We’ve fallen out because he called a staff meeting today and fired her in front of everyone. He exposed our relationship and the baby too. He made her run out crying, it was awful…”

  “Wait, baby?” I nod and watch her face light up. “You’re having a baby? Wow, this is serious then. And great news. I’m going to be a grandmother!” She lets out a little joyful laugh, like this is the news she’s always been waiting for. “I would much rather know the girl before the baby, but I suppose you can’t have everything…”

  “Well, you won’t get to meet her if Dad has his way. He’s doing everything that he can to push us apart, and it might be working. Lexi is now saying that she can’t be with me if it means splitting the family apart.”

  “Is she that bothered by your father’s opinion?”

  I nod. “She is because she’s never had a father in her life and her mother died when she was young. She had an illness that killed her, and is now affecting her sister too. I don’t really know what’s going on with her, but it seems like there’s a big chance that she might die. Lexi puts a lot on family.”

  “Oh wow.” Mom claps her hand to her chest. “This is shocking.”

  “I know, Dad doesn’t know any of that, but that doesn’t make his behavior any better. He knows that I love Lexi and he’s still doing what he can to take her away from me. I don’t think that it’s right.”

  “And he knows about the baby as well? I suppose he must, if he exposed it. Well, he’s going to have to answer to me about it, because I am not happy. I don’t want my grandchild to be taken away.”

  “I don’t want to cause any issues between you, I just don’t know what to do…”

  Mom gives me a look. “Son, I know you think that your father rules the roost around here, but I am a silent strong. However, this is a subject that I won’t be quiet about. I am going to have a lot to say, and he will listen to me. Believe you me, when I have something this serious to say, he will listen to me.”

  Hope blooms in my chest. “Do you really think that you can sort things out?”

  She glances at the clock on the wall. “Come back tonight at eight PM. See what happens.”

  I nod slowly, hoping that enlisting the help of my mother will turn out to be a good thing. I seriously hope it doesn’t take a turn for the worst. I don’t know how Dad will react, but it’ll be a clue for how things are going to go forwards in the future with us. Whether I will have a family and Lexi… or not…

  “Thanks, Mom. I guess I will see you tonight then.”

  She wraps me up in a hug and holds me tight for a couple of seconds. “I’m so happy for you, Isaac, and I am going to make sure that this will work out for you. For all of us.”

  “I hope so, Mom,” I reply a little desperately. “I really hope so.”

  My confidence has gone up and down throughout the afternoon and evening. The idea that Mom will turn Dad’s opinion around keeps switching from very possible, to not a chance in hell. I don’t even know why I’m here. Aside from Mom asking me to come at eight. I haven’t heard anything from her, so I don’t know what to expect. I could be walking into absolutely anything right now.

  “Mom?” I call out nervously. “Are you here? I’m coming in.”

  “Yes, Isaac. We’re in the living room. Come on in.”

  ‘We’ means Dad is there too, but I can’t tell from Mom’s tone of voice if this is good or bad. I step tentatively towards the living room, praying desperately for a solution here. Something to get me and Lexi back together.

  I’m no wiser as I step inside. Everyone is stoic, giving nothing away by their faces, so all I can do is take a seat and wait for someone to start speaking. I have no idea who will talk first.

  “Isaac.” Oh, it’s Dad. That shocks me. “We have a lot that we need to discuss, don’t we?”

  The anger rises once more. “You mean about your behavior today?”

  He glances to Mom, who gives him a warning look. “Yes, my behavior hasn’t been great. I just… I wanted you to fire Lexi for a very long time because she doesn’t fit in with the company…” Mom nudges him. “Or I thought that she didn’t, which I can now see was wrong, and I made some poor choices.”

  “Poor choices is one way to put it, yes,” I reply sarcastically.

  “But I want to make it right. I want you to come back and work for me.”

  “In the office where you just humiliated me? No thank you.”

  “You’re the manager. No one will say anything to you. They can’t, can they?”

  “And what about Lexi?” I push him further. “Can she have her job back?”

  “Er, if she wants to. I don’t know if she will want to after today…”

  “No, I don’t think so either. Would you? After someone disrespected you like that? No, I don’t think so.”

  “So, how do we find a solution? We need to come to some agreement, don’t we?”

  I glance between Mom and Dad. Do I make this awkward for him because he’s been a massive dick, or do I make it easier because Mom has obviously worked hard to make this alright again?

  “Dad, I want to go out on my own. You know that, I want my own business. So, it really doesn’t matter what you say anymore. I want to make things right with you, but if you can’t accept me and Lexi…”

  “I can accept you, that’s what I’m trying to say in a roundabout way.”

  Mom nods reassuringly at me, trying to let me know that I can believe him, but I’m not totally convinced that he can change that easily. Even with Mom whispering in his ear. But I suppose time will tell.

  “Okay, well we’ll see, won’t we?” I shrug, refusing to back down quite as easily.

  “Son, what more can I do? I have told you that I’m going to be better…”

  “Words only mean so much. Actions mean a lot more.”

  He opens his mouth as if he’s going to argue this, but then he seems to accept that I’m right. There isn’t anything he can say to change my mind. It’s going to take time. There are years of negativity that we need to get past. That doesn’t happen in just one conversation. He needs to get that.

  “Right, well this has been good, but I need to go now. I need to find Lexi, to see if I can make it right.”

  “Will you apologize for me?” I nod at Dad, not sure how much this will work. “Thank you.”

  I leave the house, pondering over everything that just happened. I don’t want to take it in too much because right now, it’s my mother’s influence, but I suppose it’s the best progress that I can ask for. Dad has never apologized to me before, or admitted that he’s wrong, so it’s something. It’s a start in the right direction at any rate. I will take it for now, and just see where we go from here. It’s the only way.

  I just hope that it’s enough for Lexi, I hope a start is all she needs.

  But as I make it to her home, and I knock on the door, I can already tell that she isn’t in. There aren’t any noises coming from inside. I guess when she said that she wanted space, she really meant it. I’m sure I would be able to find her in the hospital if I really wanted to, however much she wants to get away she won’t leave Jane, but if she needs a break then I need to let her. If I don’t, I will only push her away further.

  I sigh loudly and walk away, still a bit frustrated that I can’t solve this right now, but I suppose this is the way that it has to be for the moment. I just need to wait and be patient. I suppose it will give me the time to sort things out with my family, and I can start
my business as well.

  I need to use this space positively. It’s the only thing that I can do. I need to make Lexi proud of me, to make myself irresistible to her, to make her see how good we could be together.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Lexi

  I lean my head back on the bed that’s becoming less strange by the day and sigh loudly. It’s been a long day today, and the worries are getting the better of me. I have a bit of a clearer mind without all of the Isaac drama surrounding me. That’s still there, but it isn’t as prominent since I can’t actually do anything about it right now. But my panic about Jane is getting worse by the day. She’s looking terrible at the moment, and it’s a strain. I can’t tell her, of course, I’m doing my best to remain positive, at least in front of her, but it’s hard.

  It’s difficult not to crack, not to crumble in front of her, not to weep like a baby and hug her. I want to cling to her and beg her not to leave me, but I need to remain positive and strong in front of her.

  I don’t have any more tears to cry or I would. I’m completely drained. Emotionally and physically. I don’t have a scrap of energy left. All I can do is lie here and try to get some sleep, to start again tomorrow.

  “It might be a good day tomorrow,” I tell myself. “Things could still turn around.”

  At least I’m with her all the time, that’s the only good thing about not having a job. I can be at my sister’s side all the time. I have enough cash to keep me going, for the time being anyway. That’s another thing I can compartmentalize for now and deal with at a later date, when I have the time.

  As my eyes closed, Isaac’s face floods my brain like he’s been waiting there all day, and now he’s finally allowed to come free. It’s difficult because I’m not sure that dreaming about him is helping me at all, but I can’t help myself. He’s the only man that I have ever loved, and ever will love like that. The times that we shared are unlike anything else that I have been through before. I wish that the world wasn’t against us and we could just be together. I wish it was simple. I guess one day it might be.

  I sigh and turn onto my side, remembering what it was like to be with him for a little while. Recalling the sensation of his hands on my waist, his lips against mine, him whispering that he loves me… it was all so wonderful, like a fantasy dream come true. No other man will ever be able to compare.

  You did the right thing by pushing him away. We both need space.

  But the space is hard, however sensible it is, and that’s all I can think about as I slowly drift into a restless night of sleep. I don’t remember what it feels like to be settled, and I’m not sure I will again.

  I get dressed rapidly in the morning, barely bothering to brush my hair or put on any make up, before I make the short walk over to the hospital. That’s why I chose this particular motel, because it isn’t far, and I can be there when I need to be, to help out Jane. I stuff my hands in my pockets and move my feet quickly. The sooner that I’m there, the better, then I can have something practical to do, so I can get out of my head.

  The staff in the hospital all greet me as I go in, especially the ones working in Jane’s department. I have become even more like a part of the furniture because I’m here all the time. Then I finally get to Jane’s room where she’s sitting on the edge of the bed, talking intently to a doctor. I keep a bit of a distance because I’m too scared to eavesdrop. I fear what I might hear. I’ve gone beyond the stage of wanting to know.

  Once the doctor leaves, I make my way over to her bed and take my usual seat. “Are you okay?” I ask.

  “Yeah, I’m good.” She leans back and smiles. “I don’t need to be out of the room for a while today, so we can hang out. Which is good.” She nods. “Because you have a face like a smacked ass, and I need to know why.”

  “What?” I immediately try to smile as best I can. “I’m good. Don’t worry about me.”

  “Lexi, don’t tell me a lie. If you aren’t okay, just tell me. Don’t keep it inside. You know I need to hear about the real world because it takes me away from here for a while.”

  I can’t help but half laugh at this. “I know that’s what you want, but I haven’t been in the real world for a while. I’ve just been locked away in my motel room, avoiding everyone as much as I can.”

  “So… nothing more has happened with Isaac then? That’s a shame…”

  “I know, but you know why I had to walk away from him. He can’t fall out with his family over me.”

  “Why not?” Jane sounds shocked, even though I have said this to her before. “Because family is so important? Yeah, I get that. But also, life is too short not to be happy.”

  Hmm, I suppose that’s another lesson that I can take from this. Life is short and I should grab happiness. But I have created the distance now and I haven’t contacted him since. I might have made a mess of this…

  “Look, I just don’t think that you should take on the opinions of other people,” Jane continues. “You are good together, I really like him, he’s a good guy. Plus, you’re having a baby together. What about your family?”

  “My baby will be okay,” I pout a little childishly. “He or she will have me and Auntie Jane.”

  I haven’t given up on that dream, however much Jane always shuts down whenever I say it. I am determined for her to be around when my baby comes into the world. I have this dream in my head of her holding my baby and playing with him or her, being the best auntie ever. I don’t want anything else… or a lot else…

  “Have you even spoken to Isaac? Where is his head at?”

  “No, like I said, I locked myself away. I don’t want to think too much about it right now.”

  “Ooh, you’re so stubborn,” Jane laughs. “You always have been.”

  This leads to us reminiscing deep into the past, which is a much safer topic. I love talking to Jane about our youth, about the times when our life was amazing, before it all got complicated, and right now, we both need to distraction. As Jane talks, her eyes light up and she looks like her old self again, like the girl in the picture hanging up in my apartment. I love it, it makes me feel younger and happier. I cup my belly the entire time, allowing the love to flow to my baby. I hope Jane’s voice is making its way into my womb so my baby can hear her… not that I’m giving up on my dream of her meeting my child and making a full turn around.

  “Oh, look at the time,” Jane suddenly says. “I have to go into treatment in a moment.”

  “Oh right, well I will come back and see you afterwards, is that okay?”

  “Sure, sure. The usual time should be about right.” She smiles. “I look forward to it.”

  “I’ll try and have a nap,” I lie knowing that isn’t possible. “So, I look a bit better.”

  “I personally think that you should spend the time calling Isaac and making things up with him.”

  I smile at her and nod. “I know that’s what you think.”

  She grabs my hand and won’t let me go for a little while longer while she gives me a serious look. “Lexi, he made you so happy. I want you to be happy. He loves you so much. I want you to be loved. I know that it might feel complicated, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s just you, Isaac, and the baby.”

  “I love you, Jane,” I say thickly through the tears. “You are so wise.”

  She leans forward and I lean down to meet her so we can hug and kiss each other’s cheeks. “I love you too, Lexi. You are the best sister that I ever could have asked for. Now, get out of here. I will see you soon.”

  I do as she commands, laughing through the thick emotion, and I pause by the door of her hospital room for a couple of moments to just watch her. She pulls out her phone and stares at the screen, looking so beautiful as the light makes her face glow. I touch the window, wishing that I could touch her too, but I will just have to wait. At least I can see her later on and we can have more time together then.

  Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

  At f
irst it seems like the ringing sound is coming from inside my own head, but as I stir myself awake, from a nap that I didn’t think I would be able to have, I realize that it’s my cell phone.

  “Shit.” It’s probably Jane wondering where the hell I am. I just laid down on the bed for a moment. I don’t know how long I have actually been asleep for. This is a nightmare. “Shit, shit, shit.”

  “He… hello?” I gush into the handset, not even bothering to look at the number on the screen.

  “Is this Lexi Tyler?” a strange, stilted voice replies.

  “Er, yes. Who is this please?” I don’t know why, but this voice gives me chills.

  “I need to speak to you as next of kin to Jane Tyler…”

  I don’t know what the next words are. Not really. Only a few of them stand out, and they make my blood run ice cold. The rug is swept from under my feet, and I don’t even know if I’m standing anymore. My whole body wobbles, I want to throw up, I want to scream and shout, but I can’t. I’m stuck, frozen.

  Jane… Cardiac Arrest… Time of death…

  “She’s… she’s dead?” I howl. “No, she can’t be. You’re lying. I was just there with her. I’m supposed to be meeting her later on. This isn’t… It can’t be… No, no, no…” I rake my fingers through my hair. “Please, tell me that this is some kind of a sick joke or something, because… she was doing so well earlier. She looked good. How can she just go? The doctor didn’t tell me that was going to happen. Someone should have warned me.”

  “I’m sorry, Miss Tyler,” the voice confirms, making everything die around me.

  My phone falls to the floor with a loud clatter with me not far behind it. I hit my head hard, causing my vision to blur and a blackness to come for me. I give myself to the blackness. I want it to take me. I want to wake up from this, and it all be a nightmare. Jane can’t be gone. Not like this. It isn’t right, I can’t accept it. There’s just no way … She’s my sister. I need her. She’s supposed to be here forever. To meet my baby, to be with me in life. I can’t be alone, I can’t do it. I don’t think I can go on any longer…